Okay so maybe it's retarded to essay on a character before I've played them! But. NHK is a special canon, Yamazaki's a special kinda guy, and I wanted to get some of this down while I was thinking about it. Because I think it'll help me PLAY THE FUCK OUT OF HIM if I do. |D

So lemme see what I want to cover. I'll start with the lolicon thing, which I FAILED TO MENTION IN HIS APP, SURPRISE GUYS! (Although he's not a REAL--well I'll get to that.) Mostly I want to essay a little on Yamazaki and women (REAL LIVE WOMEN, that is), because it's a complicated issue and you don't get to see the full story until like the end of volume 6.

With that in mind, this will be kinda spoilery. NHK isn't a series that I think suffers much from being spoiled, but proceed with caution!

( do as I do, not as I say )

That all ties into his feelings for Satou too, which is another FUTURE ESSAY and I will totally hold off on it until I like, play >D I JUST WANTED TO RAMBLE A LITTLE. It is hard to reconcile the Masked Raper with the Story of Youth, but what it boils down to is that Yamazaki talks up a misogynistic game to try and hide his fear of the kind of emotional damage he's been subjected to in the past, and to try and push girls away before they can hurt him; when it comes to his ACTUAL feelings on women, he doesn't have any issues with them unless he thinks they're fucking with him, and he's definitely not a danger to them or anyone else.

'm done now /o/

YAMAZAKI KAORU

DOB: I'm making this up/educatedly guessing! April 8th. SEE BELOW.
Age: I'M SAYING 20 and here is my reasoning, because yes, I could have apped Yamazaki as a counselor--he's anywhere from 20 to 23, depending on where you put his birthday, where he's taken from in canon, and whether he's one or two grades beneath Satou.

( random timeline/WHERE YAMA IS TAKEN FROM crap for my own reference mostly, a bit spoilery )

Height: no canon, I'm gonna say about 5'8" (172 cm)
Eyes: brown
Hair: black
Medical info: nothing outstanding. I imagine that as a kid he broke bones once or twice, lol constantly beaten. But nothing out of the ordinary!
Physical traits: Glasses, fairly skinny . . . he's a pretty normal-looking Japanese guy. Cute in an ordinary way!
What's okay to mention around him: UHHH anything! Anything at allllll.
Abilities: NADA 8D C-can take abuse, he has a lot of practice. And for the mundane definition of abilities, he can draw, animate, and program pretty damn well.
Notes for the psychics: Not much of note. Yamazaki is . . . god NHK is hard to describe and I need to essay on him ALREADY. XD Uh, he's pretty broken in some ways, but not hopeless. He has ISSUES with women and trust issues and he's in denial about stuff but he has the ability to overcome. Depending on who he's around and what kind of mood he's in/how drunk he is, he will lash out at women and get really angry at THOSE DISGUSTING WHORES but in actuality he . . . doesn't mean it to the extent he thinks he does, and he's secretly really romantic and very easily topped. He does not actually see women as inferior and he IS attracted to them--all his protestations otherwise are a front to avoid being hurt again. OKAY I'M JUST GONNA ESSAY ON THIS LATER I THINK. Overall: otaku OMG MOEEEEEE, very guarded about relationships, very lonely and afraid of the world, pessimistic about his future, semi-estranged from his family, will start missing Satou a lot in a couple months, but he has some retarded youthful hope for the future and an appreciation for the world and the meaning of his experiences. :(d
Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc?: SURE, TALK TO ME. Like I said Yamazaki is pretty used to having his ass kicked. XD
Maim/Murder/Death: Ummmm. Talk to me. I'm leaning towards no because . . . I dunno, it would feel somehow against the spirit of something to actually allow an NHK character to die. XD I mean they spend enough time trying to kill themselves . . .
Cooking: Maybe slightly better than a hopeless bachelor, but not great by any means.
Kissing/Hugging: GO AHEAD. His reaction will depend on what you're doing and who you are. Yamazaki's a drapey person who gets in your personal space, so he's cool with that, and being hugged is fine if it's like . . . moe. |D CUTE LITTLE GIRLS HUG ME PLZ. Uh on the other hand if you try to rape him he will freeze up and freak out. Which I am all for!
Emo: HAHAHA, UH, HE'S AN NHK CHARACTER, SO . . . YEAH, EMO IS. Kind of his LIFE.

lol first otaku character means I get to do one of these! You know the drill by now. I want to know if Yamazaki can recognize you. This applies to anime, manga, and game characters, mostly. Yamazaki is VERY VERY LIKELY to recognize MANY of you, his canon makes explicit references to other canons, etc! So comment here to let me know how far I can go. I can always playercest with Chisame to prevent uh tragedy (for example, he will DEFINITELY recognize Light--see icon). And if you really don't want a character recognized, I can do that too, unless they're from a canon explicitly referenced in NHK (and I think the only one of those represented in camp right now is Death Note--the big ones are Evangelion and Nadesico).

What will he do if he recognizes you? It'll vary depending on who you are, but FANBOY is the key word here, especially if you're a loli or Ayanami-ish in personality.

SO COMMENT HERE AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU ARE COOL WITH or if there's anything I need to keep in mind threading with you! ♥

Character: Yamazaki Kaoru
Series: Welcome to the N.H.K. (manga)
Age: around 20

Canon: Welcome to the N.H.K. is the tale of brave revolutionaries facing down THE MAN. After all, it can't possibly be their fault that they're failures; it's all a government conspiracy, don't you see? In short, this is the story of unemployed, socially phobic fuckup Satou Tatsuhiro and the lesser fuckups who love him enough to cockblock his suicide attempts. Yamazaki Kaoru is probably the most stable and functional of this lot, but that's really not saying much; a raunchy self-described otaku, Yamazaki seeks comfort in a fictional world. His dream in life? To create the greatest pornographic game the world has ever seen with the help of his senpai, Satou!!! To this end, he's steeped himself in otaku culture quite thoroughly; when he's not attending animation school, he's busy watching anime, buying merchandise, roleplaying online, or downloading porn... for research, of course.

Although he's a good person at heart and has his moments of tenderness and introspection, and although he is far more comfortable in society than his friends, most often Yamazaki is loud, abrasive, obsessive, extremely dramatic, perverted, and would love nothing more than to hide from reality and intimacy. He's terrified of the idea of sex or love with real women and absorbs himself in his quest to create the perfect fictional woman for his game... but, to put it lightly, Yamazaki's idea of "moe" (cuteness, kind of) is more than a little bizarre, and his creative endeavors speak volumes about his Issues.

Sample Post:

Sure, traditionalists might call me a fool - nay, a madman! "Yamazaki," they'd say, "it's insane to go to America to research moe! Isn't America full of teenage girls whose idea of being a fan is to spank people at conventions with wooden paddles? Not to mention fat cosplayers who dare to desecrate the iconic plugsuit of Ayanami Rei with their tubby forms? I'll save you, Rei-chan! And isn't it true that the only reason an otaku like you would ever go to America is in a last-ditch effort to avoid moving back home to the family farm and to escape the advances of your girlfriend? Shouldn't you be ashamed of yourself for shirking your responsibilities as a son and a man?" ... HELL NO! This is nothing but an innocent business trip. S-shut the hell up, already! What do you know about my dreams?!

That's exactly the problem with today's otaku: they have no vision. Sure, it's a little unconventional to do research for a hentai game in America, but I'm aiming for the top, here! I need fresh material never before seen in Japan - and for that, I need to do some international espionage. Just call me... Bondage. James Bondage. Double-oh-sixty-nine. Oh yes, I could sense that the American ero-game developers were underplaying their hands. But wait until Satou-san hears this! Who would suspect that those crazy Americans have already planted the seeds of the virtual sex revolution? Here at Camp Fuck You Die - what a title! - I've finally found the ideal setting for our game!

I'll name the heroine "Sexy Zombie Tsukiko-chan," and she will be the epitome of moe! Arrgh - the plot is coming to me in a burst of inspiration! She's undead... because she sacrificed her life for the main character, who was her beloved classmate! Her love for him trapped her soul in her dead body, and now she depends utterly on his charity, living only for the sake of the player... it's a man's most precious dream! Smilingly tenderly, he stitches back on her lost limbs with red thread, symbolizing their shared destiny. Tsukiko-chan shyly smiles back and compliments his brains. Men love that! And then they embrace passionately by the lake, never noticing as the tentacles creep closer... oh my god, yes, it's like Ju-on meets La Blue Girl meets Sister Princess! Can something this original possibly fail to gain national recognition?

Now, Tsukiko-chan, just hold that pose while I sketch some concept art... a tranquil yet foreboding shot by the lake is the ideal synopsis of what Camp Fuck You Die is all about. I'm going to take the liberty of drawing you with both eyes for now, although we might be able to work that into the plot somehow later. Everyone loves girls with eyepatches! Ah, Marcy-san, would you mind holding up your tentacles just a bit higher? And try to look menacing. We're going to be stars, ladies! It's Camp Fuck You Die: Dead Girls Don't Say "Iyaaaan," coming - if you know what I mean - next Halloween!

National recognition? Hell, I'll be getting the Nobel Prize for this one!


(( v-voting went here HOLY FUCK ;o; ))